I hope you are well

Someone said to me...I hope you are well.

If being honest, I don't know how to answer that.

I've read books, I've read posts from other widows, I've read memes, where positivity reigns and higher powers carry you through the fire. The warmth of the sun lifts your spirits and memories heal your heart.

Well, I can't seem to catch the magic. Memories barely make me smile, right before I feel a rip inside my chest. Music makes my spirit soar just before it spirals down and crashes back into me and takes my breath away. The sun lights my world right before my skin turns cold and reminds me I am alone in this world, alone with my feelings, alone with my thoughts...alone with my longing for you.  Oh how I long for you, Lord have mercy.

I can't get past the want, the missing, the longing for you. For everything about you, for everything about us. I miss the other half of my memories, the other half that makes a whole thought...that makes sense. David, I miss you loving me. I miss the way your love made me feel. I miss that me so very badly. God how I miss that girl.

So, maybe I don't have the words to say how I am.

But you...well, I hope you are well, even if I'm not. xoxo