This is not a life...I am not living. I breathe because my body does not know how not to, but I am not alive. I am just fooling everyone.
It's been two years. Two damn years and I cannot get past this feeling of soul sucking sorrow. I am slowly slipping away.
I can tell you the constant visions stopped, so there is that. That peace came at the two year mark. I still see it all, hear it all, but NOTHING like it was, so yeah...there is that.
I miss you love. All I do is slip around this house like a ghost, a ghost of the person I was before. I still look out the window in the bathroom like I used to do when I knew you would be coming home. I would watch you pull in and stop to get the mail. You were so damn handsome with your sunglasses on and your work clothes. You never knew I was there with my heart overflowing, did you? I still look but you don't come. Nothing is the same here, now it is silent. There is no love or laughter or joy here. There are no kids here. It is just me, yet not.
I am a prisoner inside my head. I am a prisoner inside this hell. All the trying and crawling and climbing and trying some more have done nothing but distract me to time passing. I am no better and I just feel lonelier.
I miss you love...I miss you.
