June 5, 2013

Good morning lover.  Today is one month, yet for me it is still a month ago...I know time has passed, but not for me.  I am still there on that rock, I still see you and I still hear you...I smell the sea and I hear my screams.  I have spent all this time making phone calls, going through files, having meetings, and signing papers.  I have told my story...your story over and over and over yet I have not really been present, I am on that rock with the crashing waves and my breaking heart, I have been sitting and waiting for you to return.  I cannot move, I cannot leave, I cannot believe, I cannot accept...I just cannot move.  I will always be exactly where you need me to be my sweet sweet man.  I will always be yours.  I love you so very much my David.  I pray you are at peace.  Until you find me again...forever and always - me

I made it through most of today with my head held high babe, but now I am done.  Around 4pm the dark crept in and turned this day around...I am now a mess.  I miss my boyfriend so very much it is eating me alive.  I just don't understand this life of mine, I just don't understand that this is how it is to be.  I'm so so in love with you yet I am without you, it makes no sense to me.  It's all just a big giant mess.  The feeling in me to find you is frantic and desperate, and so helpless.  I don't think I will ever be the same again...when you left you took me with you.  Good night my beautiful man...

Eve's Page

My dear sweet beautiful friend and sister.  One month, yet not.  I have no words really, but my heart is with you always.  Days have passed by, but I am still in that moment, on that rock, and I cannot leave.  You mean so much to so many and to me as well.  The connection now, the bond we have now is so much deeper as you now have my husband, you left here with my David, I wish to believe you held hands and comforted each other on the way to your new life and I wish to believe you are finally at peace from all that haunted you.  I love you sweet girl and I miss your loving and kind words.  One month, yet not.  Huh...it's all just too much.