June 7, 2013

Good morning handsome.  Your Joshua...our Joshua is coming!  I am going to get him this afternoon and he will be here for the weekend like normal.  I'm sorry it has taken me so long but it was the best I could do.  I'm excited!  Now I must buy food...boys like to eat.  hehe  

Be with us this weekend, give us strength and love and laughter.  I miss you David, I hope you know and can see just how much.  Be peaceful lover.  xoxo

In the middle of the grocery store, among tons of people, and suddenly an intense sense of extreme loneliness washed over me.  These moments of remembering my husband is never coming back is enough to bring me to me knees.  I miss my David.

Joshua is here lover...it's been a month...I hoped for sooner but couldn't do it.  I hope you can see and hear us, the kids sound like old times.  I have retreated to our room, I'm feeling very sad and the tears are standing just on the edge of falling.  God how I miss you...it's the most incredible thing...sometimes I'm just not sure I will make it...all I want is you.  

Goodnight my sweetest of men.  I simply adore you and feel very lost without you.  Until tomorrow...

Eve's Page

Hi Evelyn...right about now you would be sending me an inbox with word'ms that would be pertinent to now...I need your help.  I am really struggling with all of this...I am just so lost.  I want to lay down and give up the fight, it's just too hard, trying is too hard.  I'm tired...I'm tired of being okay for everyone else.  I'm not okay, I'm not okay at all.  I am broken and in screaming pain.  Help me get through this my friend, help me find the way.  I'm so very for everything, I'm so very sorry you died.  God, I am so so very sorry.