Alone Again

I'm finding it hard...

You know...back when we 'met again' and I realized that this was it, you were it, I thought my days of living my life alone were over.    Then when we married I knew for sure I would be a part of a union for the rest of my days. 

I would have someone to love and take care of and cherish forever.  

I would have someone to love me and cherish me in return.  

I would no longer have to live through 'firsts' alone because I had you to rejoice and celebrate with.  

I didn't have to make decisions alone...small, large or otherwise, because I now had another set of ideas and opinions to help share in this task.

I would no longer have to eat alone and sleep alone and walk alone...because I had you.

I no longer had just two hands...You held my hand and together we had three...yours, mine and ours.  You ALWAYS held my hand.  Remember driving David, EVERY time you would hold my hand and EVERY time you said you would do so for the rest of my life...and EVERY time I would cry or tear up because I was so overcome with the love that you had for me and I you. How lucky was I?  How lucky were we?  To have felt such love.

Well, I was wrong...never say never.  

For far too short a time I was blessed enough to have all that.  For far too short a time I had it all until it slipped away.

I am alone again...

I live, sleep and eat alone.  Our children are gone more than not, family is gone more than not and friends alike. That is okay...it is as it should be.  But for me...for me I am alone.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.