In the mail today was a large thick white envelope with huge words printed in blue across the top...and immediately I froze. I looked around like it was a conspiracy and some spy had slipped it in my mailbox to scare me. It read...
NEW ENGLAND ORGAN BANK
A Donate Life Organization
UGH! Isn't this too early? They told me around October, I'm not prepared for this, I thought I had more time. I was supposed to have another month or so. Really though, why should they wait, they have lives to save...waiting is not on their agenda.
The last time I heard from these people, from Jennifer, was May 6th at 6:30 am, I was in bed, numb, and alone. I had not slept...you had only been 'gone' for 10 hours.
Jennifer was requesting an interview, a 20 minute interview to discuss page by page, line by line, piece by piece, the things they needed me to verbally agree to let them take from you.
What? Are you kidding me right now...do you know what has just happened?
Do you people know that I almost died yesterday? That the love of my life did die yesterday? That one of my best girlfriends did die yesterday? Do you know what time it is? How did you get my cell phone number? Why the hell am I still breathing? How can you expect me to talk about all of this right now...I just want to die and be with my husband.
I said none of that though...I never would in a million years. She is doing her job, trying to see that your death was not in vain, she wants to give you the opportunity to change lives, she wants to offer you the title of 'Hero'. So I spoke out loud, to each and every line that was read to me...'yes, I agree'. There was many moments of silence where I willed myself to say the words, to ignore the images and think of the big picture, I cried without thought to the stranger on the end of the line. She was kind, compassionate, caring and understanding. And when I had given my last consent and she was ready to hang up, I told her that she is a very courageous woman with a noble heart to be able to make these calls. To invade the life of someone so grief stricken, with such assuredness and determination is truly a credit to the passion and dedication she has for the human life. I thanked her for being the one to call me and for helping me get through this. She thanked me, gave me her number and hung up. I was all alone again.
Then today, at the mailbox, with panic trying to show itself...she's back, though not really. My feet will not move. I'm standing in the front yard, opening the envelope and reading...
On behalf of the New England Organ Bank...etc etc etc...I am writing regarding Davids generous donation and your admirable and inspirational ability to think of others...etc etc etc
David was able to donate his bone tissue. For...
Your husband was able to donate his skin tissue. For...
We were able to recover your husband's corneas...and it is at this point I fall to the ground sobbing in excruciating pain. The windows to your soul now belong to someone else. Does he or she see glimpses into your life? I have looked so deep and so long into those eyes. Those eyes always told me everything I ever needed to know. Oh how I miss those eyes.
David was also able to donate his heart valves. For...
David was able to donate his veins. For...
Included in the envelope is a Certificate of Appreciation presented in your honor.
Exhausted and numb, I finally stand up...because I have little tiny ants crawling all over my legs. YUCK! Kick a girl when she's down, jeesh. Damn ants. lolYou did a GREAT thing lover...you did a great thing...and I'm so proud of you.
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