July 17th

Hello lover...I missed writing to you this morning.  NO sleep last night and finallly drifted off at 7am 'til 9am...peed, then back in until 11am.  It's so strange this sleep thing.  UGH

I took little E and my brother to a private swimming hole I know, and spent the afternoon swimming, climbing the rock wall and jumping in.  IT was a real lot of fun and something I needed bad.  It's been tough here and I am leaving in 3 days but today was good and I'm thankful for it.  

I killed a bird today, it was in the middle of the road and as I approaced it never flew like I thought it would...like they always do...and I hit it.  I stopped and we got it but it died in our hands.  I cried.  I'm not used to so muc death surrounding me...it's starting to make me nervous, like that is some kind of sing in itself.

I cried several times today, as usual.  I don't know how to keep it from happening.  I try so hard to not cry but it happens anyway, kind of unexpectedly.  I wonder if this is going to be a foreverthing...it feels like it, it feels like the forever that you are gone is the forever I will cry for you...for wanting you back...for needing you with me.  I believe this will be a forever thing for sure.

I miss you much sweet man.  Until we meet again.  -   your girl