The Flowers

I am a believer.  Of what isn't important, all that matters is I am, but for this instance it is the signs from our departed loved ones that I believe in.  More specifically the signs my husband sends to me to let me know he is near and that he hears me.  Of this I definitely believe...

It wasn't long after the funeral, maybe a week and a half.  My house was full of flower arrangements that people had sent me and ones from the funeral home...we are talking LARGE beautiful arrangements.  Several had started dropping petals and one of my daily tasks was walking around picking up the mess.  One day while doing this I started crying thinking to myself 'once these flowers are all gone I will never get flowers from David again'.  You see, my husband made sure that there was always fresh flowers in a vase for me, when one died he would come home with another.  If I was traveling, he would send me some there.  Always. Without fail.  So the thought of not getting flowers from him ever again was a whole other kind of heartbreak for me, and so I was crying as I picked up the mess.

So many people were stopping in and there was no food in the house for myself and daughter either...so, as much as I loathed to,  I went to the market for groceries.  I found this task very difficult, realizing that a great deal of things I bought because David wanted it no longer needed to go in my cart.   On top of all the changes in my life here too was another to adjust to.  God this whole thing sucks.

Anyway, I made my way around the store and had a fair amount in my cart, so got in line at the check out.  I noticed a tall scraggly looking guy with 4 items in his arms so told him he could cut in front of me, as I had so much stuff.  He thanked me.  At that point I noticed a spot available at the next register so I went to it instead and waited my turn.  As I was placing my items on the belt the gentleman from the other lane, that I had let cut in front of me, walked up to me and handed me a bouquet of flowers...I was dumbstruck.  I just stood there with my mouth open and tears in my eyes and looked at him.  He just said thank you and walked away.  He was half way to the door before I found my voice and yelled thank you.  Then out loud to no one in particular..."you have no idea what you have just done for me."

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that was the very first sign my beautiful newly deceased husband sent to me.  It was his way of letting me know that he is near, he heard me cry for him and he is still taking care of his girl.