July 22nd

Well my love...slept pretty good last night in our bed finally.  It was very hard being away from here.  It always is, but this time was harder.  I'm so used to coming home to you greeting me with so much love and flowers then frantically taking me around the house to show me all the secret things you did for me while I was away.  Your excitement was palpable.  You sure are missed David, many are you ever.  I hope you can see, and feel the love and the impact you had on so many.  You are my treasure.

I'm cleaning and doing laundry then heading to see my Kateness!  Woo Hoo.  Missed my Girls soooo much.  Love you babe...Me


Back again and I want to make it clear...life is good, I am blessed and I have many, uncountable moments when I am happy.  The sun makes me happy.  Our home makes me happy.  My friends and family makes me happy.  My fat Fluffy makes me happy.  Our bed makes me happy.  The love of my life makes me happy...that would be you.  LOL  I am blessed.  No matter what has ever happened in my life, I have said and felt that I am blessed.  I have said many words of thanks each night of my life for all that I have, which is always more that I need.  I have said it before I am a lucky girl.

Being sad, heartbroken, hurt, takes none of the above away.  You have been such a major point in my life for enough years, and loving you so hard just makes it that much harder to cope with you being gone.  We worked so hard for what we had, we spend so much time trying to talk and learn and love...being alone now, after all that, is just hard and bittersweet.  

I will be okay, I will laugh (I do all the time), I will sing and dance and joke, I will put one foot in front of the other as I do each day and I will move forward in your honor doing as you would want me to do.  You only wanted me to be happy and in my own way I am.  I love you David...I love love love you.  I will write to you as long as I need to, I will cry for you as long as I need to, I will struggle with visions as long as I need to and when I am through I will be better for having done so.  Thank you for finding me love, thank you for cherishing me, just...thank you my David, thank you for everything. 

Life is good.